Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
