we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
