Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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