So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
