My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
