So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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