She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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