Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
