Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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