im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
