I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize