Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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