i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
