don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
