____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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