I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
