Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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