I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
