If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
