I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
