I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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