put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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