Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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