so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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