Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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