stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
