Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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