I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
