she smelled like a LAN party
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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