He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
