Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
