you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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