I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
