and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just pee around me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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