And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
