the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
