When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
