Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I cannot find my penis.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize