I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
