I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize