from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
