my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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