Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize