i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
