bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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