who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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