Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
