guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
