my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
