i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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