we're blogging at a bar
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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