Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
