Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize