Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
