goodnight i made you a song goodbye
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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